Goodbye 2008

And so, the year is coming to an end...

What have i done throughout the entire year 2008? What have i achieved? What have i learnt? What lessons were i taught? What have i gain and lost? What have i found and gave away? Of all the things i did or did not do, what have made me think i made the right choice? What left me with regrets?

I cant help but think about all the things that ive gone through throughout the year. It ended so quickly. I haven't done anything much, definitely not enough to let 2008 slip me by.

I dont know why but i dont feel all excited about welcoming the new year. I probably have not done enough this year and i fear that the next year might be even tougher than ever.

When i was thinking about all that happened since January till now, i cant really remember every single detail. I can hardly remember what happened in the first quarter of the year, not much even of the second quarter. I can probably remember only the major events like my 21st birthday celebration, losing 3 friends and my first step into the bank opening a savings account which is empty till now. All the other minor details, i can hardly remember them anymore.

And that's why i enjoy blogging, because its just a few buttons away where i can start reliving those moments and remind myself what ive been through and remind myself of what i should do or should not do.

The-trashbin is where i read when i feel bored, when i feel like reminiscing, when i wanna think back on the past.

The-trashbin is part of my happiness and sorrows, my book of life.

And since the year is coming to an end, where everyone start making resolutions. "A new year, a new beginning", the phrase which i believe everyone would start using and thinking, its probably time to move on from here and bid goodbye to what had past or what should stop.

So I've decided, i'm not making any resolutions this year because i never fulfilled them. I thought 2008 would be the start of my new life, where i can forget about the past, forget about what you've done and all the hurts i received year ago and move on with my life, getting back my happiness which ive lost for so long.

But no, 2008 wasnt the year.

I cant say that i have not moved on yet, because i did. But its not complete. I cant let go completely 100% of my fears and phobia but at least i tried, at least the percentage had increased comparing 3 and a half year ago. I take that as an improvement and i hope 2009 would be the year where it would bring my life to another higher level.

But all in all, i'll still take a deep long breath and welcome 2009 with open arms. Whether or not my days would be smooth-sailing in the coming year, whether or not things would change to what i want it to be, i'm still looking forward to what 2009 has for me.

And to all my dear friends and love ones, Happy New Year.

Last one to go!

Puppy born on 21.10.08 is up for sales.
Father is a papilon and mother is a cross shihtzu/silky.
Viewing is available only at Yishun.
$250 (slightly nego)

Interested? Please contact us at missy.clara@hotmail.com or deslin80@hotmail.com

movie craving n b'day greetings

Peeps! I'm back

I've been watching movies for the past 2 days. Bedtime Stories with Ivan and Yes Man! with Wilson, Martin and my new friend, Chee Beng. Yes Man! definitely surpass Bedtime Stories, more than worth. :D

Here's a short clip of Martin the zebra playing some noisy drums and he's really cute yet lousy with it. (Kinda lame but enjoy!)



So the conclusion is Martin I think you should continue with your guitar instead.

Laugh Out Loud!

p/s: happy b'day to the siblings - jiajia and mr bear. (:

merry birdy day

Happy Birthday to Serene and Xueli!
May you've all the best things out of life.
I love Christmas babies. (:

Next post, I'll be updating my 2009 resolution which i had yet to complete for the past years. Horrid. I ain't going to make empty promises again, hopefully.

Appreciate all sms-es and calls for the wishes especially fat papa ken ken and also a big thank you to Ai who came down all the way from queenstown to pass me the present.
So sweet of you! Uh hum. I know you'll be reading my blog so this is a gentle reminder to remind you to remind yourself to update your 2009 resolution. laugh*

And finally, Merry Christmas to all.

p/s: time is the key.

updates

Sales all around and I can't resist the temptation anymore. :(

221208,

• Met Chuyu for a short shop around
• Dinner with Jialian, Wilson and Martin
• Dessert @ Hong Kong Cafe with the guys

231208

• Room revamped
• Slack with Deslin and ate Mac Donald for dinner
• Mahjong with Vincent and Ivan
• Beancurd with Natalie and James

And right now, sleepless night cos' mama chia threw my bed away and now, my room looks exactly like a warehouse with lots of storage box laying around.

Tomorrow's Christmas eve follows by Christmas Day yet Clara gonna rot the days away.

p/s: thank you for installing the counter strike. (:

time's up

I'm happy!

I was on leave the entire saturday, finally.

• Brought cookie for basic grooming
• Had my Hepatitis B injection, last dose
• Nap
• Dinner with Jialian and Martin then bowling at Safra
• Mahjong with Martin, Derick and Siming

and sunday, i recieved an sms at 5:26am. - "I'm back. is time to double kill".

And guess what, it was from Vincent Lim. He's finally back from his Shanghai trip.

(double kill? don't copy my quote. but now, i prefer triple kill.)

• slept the whole morning
• bought furnitures from Courts with mama chia
• dinner with jialian, little ethan and vincent
• chatted with vin till 10plus

we're in the car so excuse for the poor quality pics.

my mood fluctuates over a phone call (that devastating news). i didn't know i was so detestable till such state. I over-estimate myself too much sometimes, and in the real world, there's no such thing as turning back. Ive been thinking about you the entire day and at the same time reminding myself that you are away, too far away..

I just want you to be happy, but would you really be?

All the promises that we used to make, nobody remembers them anymore. What happened? What happened to our circle of trust?

"Get over it Clara, you need to do that in order to proceed."

Everyone's telling me the same thing, do you reckon i dont know this simple logic? I mean..words are cheap, its easier said than done.

How hard have i tried? Ive been trying all these while, trying all my life.

Its not that complicated really, its just .. different.

I cant seem to fall in love, so sweetly as how i did the last time. Falling in love with him, was so easy, so quick, so..sweet.

And i miss that feeling, i wanna feel it again. The kind of feeling which i have no control over, totally irrational but.. so sweet and so..easy.

But i just cant find anyone else who can make me feel this way. Not anyone else close to even feeling it this way. Sometimes i thought it was A, then i thought no..i should be B, but hey.. even C doesnt fit the bill.

I wanna get back that kinda love i had for him, that kinda magical feel thats totally indescribable. (definitely not him but on someone else)

But that someone else, is just not within my reach, not in my world!

I do admit, that after the last break up a year back, i did have feelings for some people, but that kind of love just feels so different and therefore there was never a beginning because its not the kind of feel ive lost and am searching for.

Why.. why even after hurting me and having to leave me do you still made it so difficult for me to go on.

How.. how did you make me feel so in love with you that no one else can make me feel the same way again.

I feel so haunted, so haunted by the past love, a love that past but a feeling that i dont wanna forget, a feeling that i wanna have with the next love of my life.

I didn't wanna blog it out but I reallly need to vent it out before I break down. If not for that call, I'll probably be indulging with my singlehood life instead of ranting and even reminiscing over the past now.

Well, all thanks to you - Exactly 1 year. I feel a sudden pinch in my heart, then im determined to do better. the kind of support you've been giving me; i think it works this way. so please. do as great, be as successful as you can. because, and so that i can surpass that level of greatness and success.

anyway im looking forward to a complete change in lifestyle. i dont know what that might sacrifice, but if need be, im more than willing to sacrifice some things.

i am really looking for a breakthrough now. and i do wish it'd be so in a few months' time.

We'll see..

cos, you are so beautiful. and i just had the most beautiful dream about you.

p/s: congrats and all the best, uixoeix. time's up, just remember i love you once.

131208 - 141208

I'm back with tons of pictures. (cam-whoring)
Image heavy.

Gladwin's 20th Birthday @ Essential Brew Tea Cafe & Restaurant

Prawning @ Bishan

10 hours of fun from dusk til dawn. I hope there's more to come.

16122008

I didn't go to work for the first time of the year. Ai was so shocked upon knowing it that she was like "AH LING SKIPPED WORK LEI!" I really need a break. I'm too tired. I had been putting a strong front and nobody knows what I'm going through. I can't be bothered with anything so I allowed myself to sleep away the entire morning. (I realised Ai and Deslin didn't go for work too, we didn't plan in advance.)

Martin picked me up for lunch and we started mahjong session with Deslin, Natalie and Ai. I lose freaking $57 by just playing 20cents/40cents. What on earth is going on? And weird, I'm totally fine with it that I continued playing the 3rd round after meeting Jo for dinner @ Taste Of Thailand. (probably too numb.)

Today ended beautifully..

Wen, you knocked me into senses, how scary can life be? It's up to me to decide. I shall live up to my name, the triple C ! (Cheerful Clara Chia). I love this song but I love you more. I sincerely thank you for being there for me. Though we don't meet up like how we used to be but remember, you're always in my heart. I know I really gotta go my own way..

(I appreciate cuppies, natalie, jialian, jiajia and many many, didn't name out doesnt mean i dont appreciate uh. Just that wen and me had got a undescribable special bonding.)

Alright, time for bed before I wake up with a splitting headache and giddiness that feels 10 times worst than a hangover. hahs.

p/s: look on the bright side, everything's gonna be fine...