the-trashbin territory ツ

i dont need spy.

2009-04-16T01:52:00.007+08:00

Due to some reasons, i decided to shift my blog again.

thebunnysuicides - for some entries, password is required so ask me personally.

for pw, comment at this entry / msn / facebook. thanks

blossom ♥

2009-04-10T03:16:00.006+08:00

clarachia thinks that she had fallen in ♥

p/s: if only you're able to read this. hahs.

dee-daa-daa

2009-04-04T10:39:00.002+08:00

i dont even know what to say anymore.

I dont wanna blog about meeting so and so and then we went to here and there and then we had this and that for dinner/supper whatever and then we laa-dee-daa and then dee-daa-daa and then we went home the end.

Its so boring isnt it?

I dont even wanna update this space anymore because it is all trash. just trash.

or maybe after 16th april, my new life begins..

massive

2009-03-30T23:05:00.006+08:00

Double O again. 25th March 09.

210309 - Chalet with vincent and gang.

2009-03-26T11:25:00.003+08:00

my blog died.

Cuppies!

2009-03-15T23:13:00.005+08:00

Happy 21st Birthday Cuppie Jo!

I've been like really busy recently. Daddy bought air-con and a desktop for brother. And mummy's getting me a new one too. I need to get a desktop to replace my laptop cos' it's going to break down at anytime. Freak.

And I've been watching movie every week or perhaps fortnightly with the duck, my fav movie kakis. (:

I believe life will be better than before cos' i learned a new thing in life.

p/s: happy day, happy life.

random

2009-03-11T15:15:00.004+08:00

Here's a short conversation with Chuan,

the in between cut off conversation,

Clara: lol
Him: Where got extra!
Him: We're good friends what. (then click the below image to continue)

tsk. tsk. i think i'm getting kind of haywired recently.

p/s: i labelled myself "goondo", ask me how silly can i be.

crashed

2009-03-08T20:55:00.003+08:00

My life is like a maze, and ive been going the wrong way all the time.
My world is crashing down but i am so gonna pretend i am ok.
Pretending will be my new forte.

I just want everyone to be happy, sillyness.

p/s: i missed mingming very much. how i wish you were here. :'(

The F1 Red Bull

2009-03-06T19:59:00.003+08:00

Apprehensive video showing the new 2009 F1 Red Bull Team car!
With slick tyre in the 2009 race, its gonna be very exciting to watch!

p/s: be happy, babylove.

Happy days are coming!

2009-03-04T11:10:00.001+08:00

I can totally feeeeeeeeel it.

Realised a change in my post title? Yes! Totally over with the counting of days im trying to move on.

the once-a-month meetup with jillybaby. we were just too insane cam-whoring at Swensen, and movie after dinner - He's just not that into you. (:

Toy Story Woody plush, it's from jilly.

I recieved my birthday present from jiajia, she gave me a gucci belt but it doesn't fit me so i went to exchanged it for a wallet instead. Thanks soulmate.

Nothing happening happenned recently. A little disappointed over some unnecessary issues but fret not! I'm coping really well this time round.

the misses

2009-02-25T14:08:00.000+08:00

the misses so strong.

i'm in a bad bad bad state.

p/s: do you still remember the good ol' time?

tired

2009-02-24T00:12:00.001+08:00

Its so tiring.. to smile and pretend to be happy in front of everyone. Im quite tired of this pretence.

I hate pretends and hyprocrisy. I hate to lie. I hate lying to myself and people around me. But this lie makes the world goes round, this lie makes it a better place for everyone. But only for everyone else except me.

People say, dont live for others but yourself. Why do i always find myself putting other people before me?

I look at myself in the mirror every day and i feel so sad for myself. "This girl needs help, she's still not facing it, she's only running", I felt.

I dont know how you call it, but its a very perplexed feeling.

I wanna go for a short trip again, because i dont exactly have a choice and before i really go insane, maybe going away is the optimal choice.

Im so tired .. so tired of being everything else but me.

p/s: let tomorrow be the last day.

omg, somebody turns double2

2009-02-20T16:12:00.001+08:00

15-02-09, sunday

Pre-birthday dinner / gathering at Bei Sheng restaurant with Martin, Wilson, Derick and Siming.

Cookie monster with her new sports car, cool uh? (it's f.heavy to bring back from bkk. LOL)

16-02-09, monday w/o blues

Seriously, i'm speechless still. Well, I just want you to remember this - Be it rain or shine, i'm always here for you. Unbreakable bond between you and me is far beyond imagination.
Needless to say, she's my all time fav - 亲爱的 lynn (aiwen).

18-02-09, wednesday

Happy 22nd birthday Clara Chia!

Here's a short video clip taken by my dearest neopet. (:

Clubbing @ Double O

I enjoyed this special day of mine even though i cried badly at the restaurant.

Thanks to Sebastian who hugged me till i'm like almost breathless. Oh, and sorry for the mascara smudged onto your new fredperry polo tee. :(

And of course, I sincerely thanks all who wishes me happy birthday, celebrated with me and so. I really appreciated it and I hope you guys enjoyed yourself too. (:

p/s: i recieved the best b'day gift from uixoeix, more than just a letter C.

bkk trip, 11th - 15th feb

2009-02-20T11:42:00.017+08:00

goodbye bkk! (:

short entry

2009-02-17T13:18:00.004+08:00

I'm back, like finally. I've tons of pictures to upload but i'm kind of lazy. ~~Supposingly to be on leave tomorrow but i gotta cancel it cos' my colleague is on mc. boooo.~~ (edited - yesss! dearest chewie covering my shift for me so i'm off on both wednesday and thursday =D)

I'm turning freaking 22 tomorrow, time really flies.

p/s: a sudden emo feeling. fcuk. pls go away.

uixoeix

2009-02-09T00:24:00.002+08:00

I survived.

With puffy eyes and more fragments of my broken heart, i survived today.

I kept saying that i want to move on, but deep down my heart i know im not ready.

Dont think i have any other options. Whether i like it or not, i have to reach the finishing line.

And if you ask me if these are all worthed it? I say yes, cos i love you, and i want you to be happy, ultimately.

I hope you're happy now, you better be happy.

p/s: I had the most beautiful dream on friday.

cookie monster's home grooming

2009-02-06T21:43:00.011+08:00

the dirty princess turns into clean freak.

Anyway, I'm really happy recently cos' my beloved brother is coming back sooooon. Omgomgomg! I swear I'll hug him like mad. Finally, family reunion. ((:

LG Prada II KF900

2009-02-05T21:40:00.001+08:00

My latest plaything LG Prada II which arrived yesterday evening, it's really beautiful but stylus unfriendly. Still, the bluetooth link watch made it worthwhile to buy. (:

counting down - 6days to bkk trip, 13days to double2 birthday.

p/s: pardon me for short entry, sicksicksicksosleep.

history or future, you choose.

2009-02-03T23:54:00.000+08:00

I cant get to sleep. My mind is occupied with images of this somebody. Not that its like a mental torture, but its depriving me of my beauty rest. Not that i dont like thinking about him, but it doesnt feel too right to do so. Geez, i dont know.

p.s: no, i am not in love.

super superb friends

2009-02-02T22:16:00.000+08:00

300109, friday

I had dinner @ Fish N Co with Wilson, Martin, Natalie and James. Aftermath, we went over to Orchid Country Club to play pool and billiard. Mahjong session with Janelle and Nat while Wilson and Martin went over to Zouk.

super superb friends for almost a decade.

p/s: i miss that someone ~~badly~~.

last day of ph.

2009-01-29T00:12:00.002+08:00

280109 - Wednesday

Last day to enjoy before work starts tomorrow. Nat, James, Janelle and me checked in to partyworld for our singing session. I had a few video clips with Nat but they refused to let me post in my blog hence there's nothing much to update so shall let the pictures do the talking.

p/s: i believe you can do it but no matter what, just remember im always here for you. i dont mind being a trashbin for you to pour out your woes. may sunshine befalls on you, you know who you are.

ph loves

2009-01-28T00:49:00.008+08:00

250109 - Sunday

It's chinese new year eve, I had mahjong session with Martin and the gang. (I lose freaking $47 playing only 20/40.) What a start..

After mj, I went over to aunt's place for reunion dinner and collected all my red packets! Are you wondering why is the collection of red packets during cny eve instead of actual cny day? Well, I can only say - this is the custom of the Chia's family. lalalalalalalala

After reunion dinner, I headed to Jiajia's place to wait for her.
While waiting,

snapped! with jia's mum and godpa, kenken.

Hungry, so I met jialian for supper at Hans and chatted til 2am before jiajia reached home.
And OMFG! She surprised me with..

LINUS!
on the left is combination of all linus stuffs she bought for me from tw and hk,
the right is from her recent hongkong trip. gosh, she's such a darling!

Charlie brown and linus, soulmate.
Linus.Peppermint Patty.Charlie Brown, CJJ.

Jia's paper charlie brown display, bloody beautiful i swear. It's the one and only display set available. Linus preorder takes 8days so she was unable to get it for me.

One and only, soulmate. Thanks for everything, I Love You lah! (:

I'm really happy to see you indulging in love, may sunshine always be with you.

Completed my day with CJJ, joelyn came over to meet us and collect her presents.
We're still like ever, bickering with one another. laughs*

sleepless night continues,

260109 - Monday

Daddy sent us to pray at Balestier - Bugis. (mummy, grandma, jiajia) then headed to thomson for breakfast. Slept till evening before I crawled up for steamboat with jialian, natalie and james. Mahjong session from 9pm till almost 430am.

SLEEP again.

My whole collection of LINUS =D

270109 - Tuesday

Had longjohnsilver for lunch with jialian before meeting mummy and grandma for movie, The Wedding Game. Seriously, it's like 100x better than Love Matters.

Dine-in at Swensens, natalie and james came over to join us. Mahjong session again but ended early cos' nat gotta work tomorrow. Happy working! =x

I know I look horrible, so just excuse me for the pale and ugly face.

p/s: don’t want to live life's replay hence i gotta get you back.

rush hours.

2009-01-24T23:16:00.012+08:00

Days that passed had been pretty taxing for me these while. Ive been rather busy, not knowing what exactly im busy with.

i met a good ol' friends last monday for chats over drinks.
I grabbed the pictures from my dearest jillllll (heh heh, lazy lah sorry! )

Dining at our all time favourite, Ding Tai Fung.

The following day i met Natalie for shopping,

Totally clueless where to go to and we ended up idling at plaza sin. I bought some stuffs for myself as well as a surprise gift for jill, pretty awesome. Will snap pic when i'm really very free to do so.

On wednesday, i met jill to pass her a surprise mystery gift box...

scrumpy and littlegreenmen, her all time fav (:

Aftermath, I went to meet Deslin, Arene, Joelyn and Aishah for dinner at Taste of Thailand. And we watched movie - Love Matters. Didn't manage to take any pictures cos' we're kinda rush. Supposingly meeting soulmate too but she was out of town, i miss her so much. Anyway, I saw the wind too. As charming as ever.

A long break till wednesday, seriously i need a good rest so please NO HARASSMENT.

(no mahjong, no late night movie, no shopping, no steamboat, no friends, no one)

Thank you.

Lastly, Happy CNY to everyone. May you&your family be in good health, good wealth and most importantly, stay happy always.

Loves,

Clarachiapeifen

millennium darl

2009-01-16T23:32:00.005+08:00

So near yet so far.
Never did I expect this would happen, I'm so naive.
Disappointed is the word.
Tell me, can I still trust you?

I hate to see you in such state.
Will you ever grow up from it and move on with your life again?

Kinda feel like crapped now.

p/s: clara shed a tear because she loves you, you know who you are.

freeeeee

2009-01-08T19:28:00.007+08:00

Linus, my all times favourite! please let me know if you saw linus plush toy other than those in the pics cos' it's damn hard to find. :(

Cookie monster looks so much prettier w/o ears. laugh*

Know what?

I have learnt the hard way, and to do things the hard way. Now, i say what i wanna say and do what i wanna do without thinking twice nor bothering about how others may feel. Selfish? Yes i know. But reality is harsh.

Well, super random entry before i'm being caught up with work/cny/b'day celebtn.

p/s: i know it's a white lie but make it the last one. the feeling sucks donkey asses for a living. BUT, don't worry i still love you like ever. lalalalalalalala (:

hell yeahhhh!

2009-01-07T15:59:00.009+08:00

Paper Toys. It's damn cute. Will upload the pics of all upon completion.

A brand new year begins with nat and jl, 010109 :)

I've been busy working, mahjong-ing and sleeping. Plain bored.

Anyway, I bought myself an advance birthday present~

BKK TRIP during feb!

alright, why bkk again?
cos' fares are cheap and i don't have to pay for any lodging so why not?

you know who you are,
seriously i don't feel a pinch of pain when you broke the news to me. i really moved on this time, no longer pondering on the past. im really thankful to you, thank you for being such a sweet pest. words can't describe how grateful i am but just remember one thing:-

i love you my buddy.

p/s: shall update in details soon.

Goodbye 2008

2008-12-31T23:59:00.002+08:00

And so, the year is coming to an end...

What have i done throughout the entire year 2008? What have i achieved? What have i learnt? What lessons were i taught? What have i gain and lost? What have i found and gave away? Of all the things i did or did not do, what have made me think i made the right choice? What left me with regrets?

I cant help but think about all the things that ive gone through throughout the year. It ended so quickly. I haven't done anything much, definitely not enough to let 2008 slip me by.

I dont know why but i dont feel all excited about welcoming the new year. I probably have not done enough this year and i fear that the next year might be even tougher than ever.

When i was thinking about all that happened since January till now, i cant really remember every single detail. I can hardly remember what happened in the first quarter of the year, not much even of the second quarter. I can probably remember only the major events like my 21st birthday celebration, losing 3 friends and my first step into the bank opening a savings account which is empty till now. All the other minor details, i can hardly remember them anymore.

And that's why i enjoy blogging, because its just a few buttons away where i can start reliving those moments and remind myself what ive been through and remind myself of what i should do or should not do.

The-trashbin is where i read when i feel bored, when i feel like reminiscing, when i wanna think back on the past.

The-trashbin is part of my happiness and sorrows, my book of life.

And since the year is coming to an end, where everyone start making resolutions. "A new year, a new beginning", the phrase which i believe everyone would start using and thinking, its probably time to move on from here and bid goodbye to what had past or what should stop.

So I've decided, i'm not making any resolutions this year because i never fulfilled them. I thought 2008 would be the start of my new life, where i can forget about the past, forget about what you've done and all the hurts i received year ago and move on with my life, getting back my happiness which ive lost for so long.

But no, 2008 wasnt the year.

I cant say that i have not moved on yet, because i did. But its not complete. I cant let go completely 100% of my fears and phobia but at least i tried, at least the percentage had increased comparing 3 and a half year ago. I take that as an improvement and i hope 2009 would be the year where it would bring my life to another higher level.

But all in all, i'll still take a deep long breath and welcome 2009 with open arms. Whether or not my days would be smooth-sailing in the coming year, whether or not things would change to what i want it to be, i'm still looking forward to what 2009 has for me.

And to all my dear friends and love ones, Happy New Year.

Last one to go!

2008-12-30T10:45:00.003+08:00

Puppy born on 21.10.08 is up for sales.
Father is a papilon and mother is a cross shihtzu/silky.
Viewing is available only at Yishun.
$250 (slightly nego)

Interested? Please contact us at missy.clara@hotmail.com or deslin80@hotmail.com

movie craving n b'day greetings

2008-12-28T03:25:00.013+08:00

Peeps! I'm back

I've been watching movies for the past 2 days. Bedtime Stories with Ivan and Yes Man! with Wilson, Martin and my new friend, Chee Beng. Yes Man! definitely surpass Bedtime Stories, more than worth. :D

Here's a short clip of Martin the zebra playing some noisy drums and he's really cute yet lousy with it. (Kinda lame but enjoy!)

So the conclusion is Martin I think you should continue with your guitar instead.

Laugh Out Loud!

p/s: happy b'day to the siblings - jiajia and mr bear. (:

merry birdy day

2008-12-25T23:49:00.006+08:00

Happy Birthday to Serene and Xueli!
May you've all the best things out of life.
I love Christmas babies. (:

Next post, I'll be updating my 2009 resolution which i had yet to complete for the past years. Horrid. I ain't going to make empty promises again, hopefully.

Appreciate all sms-es and calls for the wishes especially fat papa ken ken and also a big thank you to Ai who came down all the way from queenstown to pass me the present.
So sweet of you! Uh hum. I know you'll be reading my blog so this is a gentle reminder to remind you to remind yourself to update your 2009 resolution. laugh*

And finally, Merry Christmas to all.

p/s: time is the key.

updates

2008-12-24T00:11:00.006+08:00

Sales all around and I can't resist the temptation anymore. :(

221208,

Met Chuyu for a short shop around
Dinner with Jialian, Wilson and Martin
Dessert @ Hong Kong Cafe with the guys

231208

Room revamped
Slack with Deslin and ate Mac Donald for dinner
Mahjong with Vincent and Ivan
Beancurd with Natalie and James

And right now, sleepless night cos' mama chia threw my bed away and now, my room looks exactly like a warehouse with lots of storage box laying around.

Tomorrow's Christmas eve follows by Christmas Day yet Clara gonna rot the days away.

p/s: thank you for installing the counter strike. (:

time's up

2008-12-22T00:24:00.001+08:00

I'm happy!

I was on leave the entire saturday, finally.

Brought cookie for basic grooming
Had my Hepatitis B injection, last dose
Nap
Dinner with Jialian and Martin then bowling at Safra
Mahjong with Martin, Derick and Siming

and sunday, i recieved an sms at 5:26am. - "I'm back. is time to double kill".

And guess what, it was from Vincent Lim. He's finally back from his Shanghai trip.

(double kill? don't copy my quote. but now, i prefer triple kill.)

slept the whole morning
bought furnitures from Courts with mama chia
dinner with jialian, little ethan and vincent
chatted with vin till 10plus

we're in the car so excuse for the poor quality pics.

my mood fluctuates over a phone call (that devastating news). i didn't know i was so detestable till such state. I over-estimate myself too much sometimes, and in the real world, there's no such thing as turning back. Ive been thinking about you the entire day and at the same time reminding myself that you are away, too far away..

I just want you to be happy, but would you really be?

All the promises that we used to make, nobody remembers them anymore. What happened? What happened to our circle of trust?

"Get over it Clara, you need to do that in order to proceed."

Everyone's telling me the same thing, do you reckon i dont know this simple logic? I mean..words are cheap, its easier said than done.

How hard have i tried? Ive been trying all these while, trying all my life.

Its not that complicated really, its just .. different.

I cant seem to fall in love, so sweetly as how i did the last time. Falling in love with him, was so easy, so quick, so..sweet.

And i miss that feeling, i wanna feel it again. The kind of feeling which i have no control over, totally irrational but.. so sweet and so..easy.

But i just cant find anyone else who can make me feel this way. Not anyone else close to even feeling it this way. Sometimes i thought it was A, then i thought no..i should be B, but hey.. even C doesnt fit the bill.

I wanna get back that kinda love i had for him, that kinda magical feel thats totally indescribable. (definitely not him but on someone else)

But that someone else, is just not within my reach, not in my world!

I do admit, that after the last break up a year back, i did have feelings for some people, but that kind of love just feels so different and therefore there was never a beginning because its not the kind of feel ive lost and am searching for.

Why.. why even after hurting me and having to leave me do you still made it so difficult for me to go on.

How.. how did you make me feel so in love with you that no one else can make me feel the same way again.

I feel so haunted, so haunted by the past love, a love that past but a feeling that i dont wanna forget, a feeling that i wanna have with the next love of my life.

I didn't wanna blog it out but I reallly need to vent it out before I break down. If not for that call, I'll probably be indulging with my singlehood life instead of ranting and even reminiscing over the past now.

Well, all thanks to you - Exactly 1 year. I feel a sudden pinch in my heart, then im determined to do better. the kind of support you've been giving me; i think it works this way. so please. do as great, be as successful as you can. because, and so that i can surpass that level of greatness and success.

anyway im looking forward to a complete change in lifestyle. i dont know what that might sacrifice, but if need be, im more than willing to sacrifice some things.

i am really looking for a breakthrough now. and i do wish it'd be so in a few months' time.

We'll see..

cos, you are so beautiful. and i just had the most beautiful dream about you.

p/s: congrats and all the best, uixoeix. time's up, just remember i love you once.

Apology

2008-12-19T20:13:00.002+08:00

I didn't expect work to be delayed. It's terrible to feel this way again. I hope everything will be fine. Sigh. I'm sorry. :( (you know who you're)

p/s: i miss tri'C'公主.

131208 - 141208

2008-12-17T01:10:00.010+08:00

I'm back with tons of pictures. (cam-whoring)
Image heavy.

Gladwin's 20th Birthday @ Essential Brew Tea Cafe & Restaurant

Prawning @ Bishan

10 hours of fun from dusk til dawn. I hope there's more to come.

16122008

I didn't go to work for the first time of the year. Ai was so shocked upon knowing it that she was like "AH LING SKIPPED WORK LEI!" I really need a break. I'm too tired. I had been putting a strong front and nobody knows what I'm going through. I can't be bothered with anything so I allowed myself to sleep away the entire morning. (I realised Ai and Deslin didn't go for work too, we didn't plan in advance.)

Martin picked me up for lunch and we started mahjong session with Deslin, Natalie and Ai. I lose freaking $57 by just playing 20cents/40cents. What on earth is going on? And weird, I'm totally fine with it that I continued playing the 3rd round after meeting Jo for dinner @ Taste Of Thailand. (probably too numb.)

Today ended beautifully..

Wen, you knocked me into senses, how scary can life be? It's up to me to decide. I shall live up to my name, the triple C ! (Cheerful Clara Chia). I love this song but I love you more. I sincerely thank you for being there for me. Though we don't meet up like how we used to be but remember, you're always in my heart. I know I really gotta go my own way..

(I appreciate cuppies, natalie, jialian, jiajia and many many, didn't name out doesnt mean i dont appreciate uh. Just that wen and me had got a undescribable special bonding.)

Alright, time for bed before I wake up with a splitting headache and giddiness that feels 10 times worst than a hangover. hahs.

p/s: look on the bright side, everything's gonna be fine...

the act of palpitating

2008-12-15T21:48:00.005+08:00

Abnormally rapid beating of my heart.
Omgomgomg. I'm speechless right now.
I'm nervous, freakingly.
I hope everything goes well this evening.

Ivan and me, r/s for 3 years and blow. right now, great friends.

Yes, I met ivan. My girls forbids me though but I just wanna see our friendship blooms.
Anyway, didn't manage to catch the movie cos' we were late and Ivan gotta pick Jolene up about 9pm. Still, we had a nice dinner. (:

Im feeling more crestfallen. Know what? Im no SUPERWOMAN! ::sigh::

p/s: today's a bad day.

random

2008-12-14T22:36:00.005+08:00

martin boey, the zebra. another great friend of mine.

The Day The Earth Stood Still, 8/10.
Derick and me find it rather nice even though simin fallen asleep, martin and wilson don't agree. Everyone has their own perception and point of view.

I didn't go MIA,

wednesday - mahjong session
thursday - visit brother
fri - movie and late night mahjong
saturday - gladwin's b'day celebration till sunday dawn
sunday - slept till 6pm.

I'll be uploading pics taken on Gladwin's b'day, so stay tune!

i need a break.

2008-12-08T20:54:00.013+08:00

Im in a freaking irritated mood throughout the whole of today ever since i got woken up by a call. Started my day with a bad news, and so my foul mood lasted all day long.

i love him lah, my best bf; mj kakis.
(vincent lim still no.1, ah vin don't say i'm heartless alright. booooo.)
071208

a visit to salon with mum, i highlighted my hair while she dyed hers. (i swear i look like some typical ah lian you can see along the streets. fuck!)
gelare and durian strudel for dessert.
nap for 2 hrs then ate light dinner.
supper at chomp chomp with natalie (eeyore's owner) and james.
late night movie, Bolt 135am with mr dimple Wilson.
chatted til 5am before both of us knocked out.
supposingly going to amk but he was sleeping like a log.
went to xueli's place to pass her present for little darling, yitto. (sorry!)
a visit to derick's place before he book in to army, mj session with siming, derick and wilson. (martin the zebra came later to join us.)

Recieved another call, I dont like it. Then again, why do i feel bothered about this? It spells trouble, very big trouble. Picturing myself sinking into the quicksand. I need a helping hand. I'm breaking down. I don't wanna cry but the tears just flow like an open tap and i very hate this feeling. I haven't been crying for ages other than ming and farouk issues last month, why make me cry :'(

i desperately needed some peace.

p/s: i'm super duper unhappy, i miss soulmate badly.

cuppies love

2008-12-04T20:47:00.012+08:00

Ai's birthday night out at doubleO, 03-12-2008

She was totally drunk, poor girl.

i did something which was unbelievable, the most embarrassing moment ever.

i hate drinking. ;(

to go with the flow, or not?

2008-12-04T11:24:00.004+08:00

People tend to follow what the majority say. To go with the flow, because they think that it is only right. But how right is right?

If 98% of the world's population tell you to do A, will you do it just because you think that it is only right since everyone is saying the same thing? And even if you think its right, do you really have to do it if it wasnt something you wanna do?

Sounds confusing? Let me elaborate.

For example, if people around tell you that REC is a really good movie that scares the shit out of you, and you should really watch it. It doesnt necessary mean that you need to agree its a good movie. Watch it yourself and make your own judgement, why follow what other people say, or think? I watched it, and i think it sucks, pure boredom and not at all scary. Does that mean im wrong?

Did i confuse you even more? How about another example.

If you're in a relationship that is going no where and everyone tells you to end it. They say the best solution is to end it earlier than to drag on and feel worst. Everyone is saying the same thing, but its something you dont wanna do. Do you really have to do what everyone is telling you? Or do what you feel like doing even if its not totally right? It is your relationship, not theirs. You can listen to what they have to say, but you dont have to action if that is not what you wanna. How wrong is that? What everyone tell you, might not exactly be the best option! The best option is your own decision and opinion, something that wont make you think twice.

I am no longer gonna get psycho-ed by what everyone say. What everyone say might not be right, cos i only believe in what i say or what i wanna do - even if its a mistake. It is my life, i do what i want, not what everyone else wants.

love is all around.

2008-12-01T22:58:00.002+08:00

Suddenly i felt quite loved by my friends around me.
Those whom i thought they were nothing but mere aquaintances. Now i realised, i shouldnt take things for granted, and i shouldnt just commit myself to a certain something. Cos there might be a lot of other things i miss out.
These days, i havent been feeling any depressed because i had a lot of fun bitching and gossipping with my cuppies/tri-L, online chats with people, on the phone with someone etc. These people really made my day, they make me smile! =)

Here's some overdue-d pictures over the week(s),

Deslin & Clara, edited by des. She's soooo sweet, aint she?

Supper with ling, chewy and xinling @ the newly open Hongkong Cafe (yishun).
Strawberry ice, rate 6/10. Mango ice tastes far more delivious but it was oos. pout*

Self-indulging and over boredom, which results in cramp expression.

Korean strawberry+raspberry cake flew from korea to sg, rate 7/10. Thanks to Pk Goh.

Pooja Ceremony @ Yishun blk 755. A really goood experience.

lovelies @ deslin's place. gosh. they're irresistible.

grandma & mama chia's b'day on 30'Nov and 5'Dec so advance birthday presents for them! Alright, i forced them to take photo. Longchamp sling bag and a swarovski necklace+red-packet.

A treat to the famous Crabbbby place (a.m.k) with the most important women in my life.

I just cant live without them. I love mummy and grandma!

I've been really busy. Guess what?

I'm learning my 2B license again.

But this time round, I'm much more determined than before.

I know the chia(s) are against it but I'll not give in. This is me, Clara Chia.

Don't blame me cos' I've got the "stubborn" genes from them, too bad! (:

I'm ending my post here, I'm like struggling through this entry cos am sooo fucking tired and sleepy.

p/s: 加油! 谢佩芬

the lovelies.

2008-11-27T23:44:00.005+08:00

4 in 1 family. i hope pingpong (temp-name) can get along with bobby and cookie. (:

i've tons of pictures/videos to upload, but too bad - lazy bug's attack.

beautiful day ended with a word - PISSED!

Passing time with a senseless entry.

2008-11-26T22:49:00.007+08:00

Its a cold and lonely night tonight. The howling of the wind beating against my window panes, hmm..very eerie feeling. And i cant get to sleep despite knowing i have to get up early tomorrow. That sucks.

I just reformat-ed my lappy, saved a copy of images/musics yet partial of it gone due to disc being corrupted. fcuk! Anyway while i was sorting out my pictures folder, i saw..

ivan and me, 3 years plus r/s. yeb, he's the past but still, i miss him at times.

i remember the good and bad days, the sweetest and the bitterness.

if only..

alright shall not say much about it.

he's my old flame, present friend and mahjong kakis. (:

Okay, i aint gonna continue ranting. Sometimes, its really better not to talk too much. There's no trust between humans.

Goodnight. Theres still work tomorrow, and the day after next, and the day after next next, and the day after next next next and it never ends.

p/s: memories of our time together this way, they don’t go away

aint just black and white.

2008-11-21T23:20:00.004+08:00

"In life, there's only black and white, good and bad. No grey, no man standing between good and bad. Of course i understand that no man is perfect, and every human being has their own pros and cons. But still, i feel there's only good and bad and nothing else in between."

I was browsing through my previous blog and I realised that my thinking/perception had changed, like totally.

Trust me there's grey, definitely. I shant go on saying Why. Or maybe i should say this ol' quote, for me to know ; for you to find out.

p/s: my life's colourful aint just black, white and grey.

random mass updates

2008-11-20T12:21:00.008+08:00

Tuesday night, Martin and i went for dinner and we both went crazy. I love this boy! We've quite a bit of things in common, chatted from past to present. So glad to have known this friend. Late night mahjong session with Martin, Chewie+Yoshi and Daniel over at Yoshi's place. Martin the zebra, chauffeur for the day. (inside story. lol)
p/s: I exceptionally hate it when someone doesn't know his/her limit to stop, excessive irritability.

Yesterday night, I went over to Jia's place to sleepover despite knowing that she hadn't been home for days. Watched 野蛮奶奶大战戈师奶 - Wars of in-Laws II with mama-toh for awhile before she headed to master's place. Home alone watching dvd til 3am, then I was being chased to sleep by daddy ken and mama-toh when they reached home cos' I've gotta work today. I miss my soulmate badly and hopefully she's happily indulging with her life, no more jerks.
___________________________________

I had a good long conversation with someone that night and amazingly he/she always know what to say to wake me up from my silly moments and spank me back to life.

Every word he/she said, lingered in my mind, so vividly and constantly reminding me, brainwashing me and i try to fight back by escaping and got myself all caught up and confused.

Im starting to feel distant from my self. I am starting to feel suspicious of me. I dont really know myself anymore. Is this me? I always thought i know myself, but was i thought who i am really who i am? Am i evolving into the real me or have i been changing?

Tell me. All the hidden facts about me, starting to break free..not the kinda girl i thought i would be, not the kinda person i wanna be.

I dont wanna be me.

p/s: still harbouring impossible thoughts, i swear no more.

lazy bugs all around, so yeb excuse me for picless entry.

vividly

2008-11-16T01:42:00.002+08:00

There's many things which i regretted doing in my entire lifetime. Sometimes i think a lot about the pros and cons before making a decision that will sit in for a lifetime. I thought i had gave it a very serious thought and it wasnt at all an impromptu decision. But as time go by, i realised that what i had done, had seriously brought me lots of regrets.

If only i was able to hold on longer and give myself more space and continue to give in and be made the sparetyre or something along that line, would things be much better now?

I remembered the time i felt like i was the happiest girl on earth and i couldnt stop smiling.

I remembered the time my handphone couldnt stop ringing because of the what-seems-endless messages, which of cos had ceased.

I remembered the time my face blushes much red-er than the red-est tomato whenever i see him.

I remembered his smile which never failed to make me melt.

I remembered his face and everything about him.

And i too, remembered that it was all over.

Just a blink of an eye, everything had passed. I know i mean nothing to you right now, for ive been long erased in your memories and heart. But you do mean something to me, someone i'll never forget, and had constantly been thinking off.

Goodnight.

Love at first sight?

2008-11-14T11:10:00.002+08:00

A question i pondered over for a very long time, a question i wish to hear the views from my readers.

Do you believe in love at first sight?

Or rather,

Have u ever had a love at first sight?

What was it that attracted he/she to you? Was it the appearance? The X-factor? The personality? Or just the figure?

Have you ever had this really intense feeling within you which makes you wanna know that guy/girl so damn much?

Would you try ways and means to get to know him/her? And what happens when you found him/her in friendster? Would you message him/her and start a conversation? What is its a girl that wants to know the guy, what would the guy think? What kinda impression would he have?

What do you call a girl who initiates making friends with guys? Brave and courageous? Or simply thick skinned and desperate?

Would you feel really heartbrokened or moody when you realised that he/her is attached?

Is this called love at first sight?

Well, i guess not. Its just a crush probably. And then you would start asking yourself, Do you believe in fate?

If theres fate between the both of you, then that's your destiny. Other than that, blame it on your bad luck, i reckon.

What would you do now that you've got his/her friendster link? Browse through and click the big red X? Or give him/her a message?

-------------------------------------------------------

More often than not, people have this feeling of love at first sight based on the other's appearance i guess. Its not practical because most of the time, he/she isnt really someone you wanna be with. So why love in the first place?

Actually i know i aint making any sense here, i cant really phrase out how i feel about this issue. Well, its just some food for thoughts. Dont read too much into it.

traumatised.

2008-11-12T23:16:00.004+08:00

Upset, very.

A friend of mine passed away due to bike accident. He's the 3rd one who passed away within 9 freaking months this year. We were once so close. The fun art class, the gossips btw us about his best friend (someone whom i crushed on during sec sch). I'm totally traumatised over it.

It reminds me about my favourite boy, mingming. )':

BREAKDOWN, sobbing night.

p/s: rest in peace good friend. fcuking scanner just dont work when i wanna scan his pic. pissed.

pest

2008-11-11T23:56:00.004+08:00

My cutest boy friend, he just don't wanna admit he ain't tall. (laugh!)

I won't reveal who's this, just name him MR.Anonymous.

My latest addiction, Super Princess Peach. (me, slow coach)

i'm so stressssss, don't ask me why. (thank you girlfriend, deslin)

p/s: laser session tmrw, phobia.

dearest boy

2008-11-10T18:37:00.005+08:00

Mingming, Happy 20th Birthday.
You've been missed! I hope you hear/know/receive the birthday song i've sang, the things i've said, the tears i've cried and the things i've burned. Will always remember you. (:

Neopet met into an accident again. 2 accident within a month, freaky.

Soulmate, get well soon.

p/s: i'm happy being the first person to add him a testimonial in his friendster and visit him at mandai in wee hours of the morning. (actual birthday day)

ツ

2008-11-09T01:14:00.001+08:00

Just got home from k-boxing with natalie. We were supposed to meet JL and Eddie for chilling session but was cancelled. Anyway, tmrw will be meeting up with mr.gladwin. I haven't seen him like damn bloody long, i miss you man!

Well, I've actually decided to put away my studies first and continue earning some moolah so i'll be able to further my studies elsewhere and lessen my parents' burden. Economy crisis's getting from bad to worst, and the course i'm studying will leads me nowhere so shall put it all to pending mode.

My day ended pissed-fully with someone who has split personality.
So here's my rant for the day,

Fuck u. Screw u. Kick u. Slap u. Punch u. Hit u. Bang u. Pinch u. Twist u. Poke u. Hammer u. Bite u. Kill u. Whack u. Push u. Jump on u. Throw u. Pull u. Scold u. Pound on u.

Scream. Shout. Scratch head. Tangle hair. Blood shot eyes. Cry. Jumps around. Roll on bed. Left-right-left. Up-down hit the ground.

This is mental torture. But i feel much better now. :smiles:

p/s: i lost a great friend, lost and hopefully found soon.

life's fragile

2008-11-07T23:21:00.001+08:00

I'm quite upset over an incident that happened on wednesday evening. While I was strolling with milo, I saw an old man lying on the ground motionlessly. I walked towards him, tried shaking him but he wasn't moving at all. Worried, I used the old man's handphone to dial 995 for an ambulance immediately. (i usually dont bring handphone while strolling doggy hence I used his phone which was next to him.)

There was commotion along the pathway, people was asking me what's wrong and prompted many unneccesary qns. Com'on, this ain't the most important thing at that point of time. I meant like can someone do cardiopulmonary resuscitation for him or something? By chance, there was a lady who helped him with it but that old man was still motionless. Sigh. Not long after, the ambulance came and the paramedic tried to revive him. I wasn't sure if he was unconscious or dead at that time.

Today, I saw a wake next to my block so I walked over and took a glance over at the picture, yes it was him, Mr So. I felt terribly emotional till I teared even though we were like total stranger. I felt we're fated bcos' it wasn't my schedule to stroll dog on wednesday but due to the weather (i thought it was going to rain), I brought milo down for a stroll. And that was why I saw him lying facing down the ground. How I wish that I had brought milo down earlier instead of dilly-dally at home, his life could had been saved. sigh.

Life's so fragile, I never felt this way before. A sudden urge, I want to find my maternal grandma, uncles, aunts, cousins. I had never seen them before, totally. All I knew was my maternal grandpa had passed away. Know what? Power of love results in shattered family. I don't blame mummy, if not for her, I'll not be in this world, or right here blogging. Still, I hope I'll at least know who my maternal family are.

Mind me for this long entry. I'm feeling kind of down, just wanna blog it out.

p/s: graceful parting.

ladies's night

2008-11-07T13:12:00.002+08:00

I haven't been clubbing since ages ago. Excessive booze, endless partying from the night till dawn. Pretty awesome! It is probably one of the best moments. There's more to come~

p/s: i'm washing my hands off, hopeless.

goodbye

2008-11-04T00:39:00.001+08:00

I shall learn to adapt to the changes made in my life from now on. I wouldnt look back, wouldnt think back, wouldnt regret.

Thank you darlings, Deslin and others for being there throughout. Your words of comfort and help had been really appreciated by yours truly. I will not say that i will be strong, because i think its time to stop pretending im strong and really break down and feel weak for once. Just once, i will stop my tears from rolling down my cheeks.

Tears are salty, this i promise you. Goodbye..

p/s: bid goodbye to thedramamama.livejournal.com